


I'm (Not) Fine Doll

by CircuitsAndBlood



Series: Roads to Hell are paved with Good Intentions [1]
Category: Fallout 4
Genre: Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Body Horror, Drug Abuse, Drug Use, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Implied/Referenced Torture, Multi, One-Sided Relationship, Polyamorous Character, Psychological Trauma, Rape Aftermath, Rape/Non-con Elements, Revenge, Robot/Human Relationships, Sexual Slavery, Sexual Violence, Suicidal Thoughts
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-01-18
Updated: 2017-01-18
Packaged: 2018-09-18 11:27:51
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,955
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9383000
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CircuitsAndBlood/pseuds/CircuitsAndBlood
Summary: The infamous L&L gang managed to get their hands on Nick while he took a well deserved break from all the violence to catch up on paperwork, now it's up to a certain lone wanderer and his sometimes ghoul lover to save him. The only problem is that it's not death they need to save him from.. at least not yet.





	

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first stab at fanfiction for the fallout genre, and while I've played quite extensively there's still much left to discover so I'll have to apologise in advance if there's any holes in the lore. If anyone reading is squeamish about implied or explicit rape this won't be the fic for you, although I'll do my best to mark out the explicit bits clearly so that you can skip past those at least, and missing it won't have any negative impact on the plot as a whole. If you can stomach it I do recommend reading though, it's not gratuitous, it has a point, it's not for enjoyment (and if you get any out of it then please get help, it's not meant to be easy to read). First chapter is extremely mild but it won't stay that way for long, you have been warned. Thank you for reading and I hope you can all stay with me long enough to see it all work out.

The minute she closed the door to her home-away-from-home behind her, she sensed that something was very wrong. There were no welcoming voices raised in greeting towards the hero of the commonwealth, as they'd unofficially dubbed her, no pitter patter of footsteps on flagstone or a familiar flat cap being doffed her way before Drummer Boy gave her the latest news. As she scanned the oddly solemn gathering suspiciously, she noted that nobody would meet her gaze, and it worried her more than if she'd walked in to find HQ empty.

At least then she'd have a vague idea of what had happened. Raids and assaults happened, even with the brotherhoods flagship destroyed and the institute a pile of irradiated rubble there were always going to be survivors, people with a desire for revenge burning in their hearts. It was the reason why the railroad had never publicly announced their victory. Caution had saved their asses so many times it would have been foolish to throw it away now. They operated on secrecy, not brute strength, and certainly not numbers.. she would have understood if she'd found signs of a battle.

Not this ghost town full of the living. This was scaring her. 

She swallowed hard, and forced herself to keep walking, to ignore the way every agent she passed suddenly seemed very busy with whatever they were working on whenever she drew near. Even Hancock tensed beside her, his fingers twitching towards his belt and the knife concealed there, suspicious. She shook her head imperceptibly. She knew hate, she knew what it looked like when someone saw her as a betrayer, this wasn't it. For once the danger would be something they couldn't eliminate with the razor edge of a switchblade. She knew it, deep in her bones.. it crawled up and down her spine making every step a struggle. She was almost relieved when Desdemona lifted her head, looked her straight in the face, and cocked her head towards the sleeping quarters.

Sophie followed stiffly, forcing herself to keep her head held high even when Tinker Tom's facade of tapping away at his terminal broke just long enough to dart a hand out and squeeze her shoulder, the action over so quickly she wondered if he'd been burned. His sympathy was palpable, and it was only when she ducked her head below the low arch of stone and found herself in relative seclusion that she allowed her fear to show.

Before Desdemona could so much as open her mouth, Sophie asked the question. The one she was dreading to ask, but must ask, because there was no room in her life for softened blows.

"Which one died for me this time?" 

The redhead froze, taken aback or stalling, and in an irrational burst of anger Sophie slapped the cigarette that the railroads lead agent had been about to light straight out from between her thin lips. She flinched, but Sophie was too desperate to get this over with to be sorry for it.

"Tell me, just tell it to me straight. I need to know, I need to know right now so I can give them the burial they des-"

She drew herself up short when the red headed chain smoker pulled her into an unexpected and very fierce hug. Before she could stop herself her face crumpled into a grimace of pain, and she couldn't have fought back the tears even if she'd wanted to. Her grief was immeasurable, she'd lost so many good people already in this fucked up life she was never intended to lead. Greater people than she was by far, and she loved them all, every single one, every single farmhand and settler who'd gathered all their meager belongings, faced odds stacked against their survival just to come and rebuild one small piece of the world she once knew. 

And her friends.. the special few who took up a gun and vowed to fight through hell-fire beside her for no gain of their own.. if she'd lost one of them..

Someone, either Desdemona or Hancock, had managed to guide her boneless body down onto the nearest mattress. They sat either side of her now, letting her cling to them and wet their ragged clothing with her tears, neither of them saying a word until her wracking sobs became soft whimpers. Even then the only reason Hancock broke the silence was to offer her a dose of med-x. 

She refused, as she always did. Because Nick had given her an education on all the chems people had 'ingeniously' cooked up since she'd taken her long snooze in an ice box, and he'd said that med-x was like heroin's bigger, badder, deadlier cousin. Hancock meant well but if she got addicted to that stuff then Nick would be so..

Nick.

Her heart stopped, time slowed to a crawl, her ears rang as though somebody with a good right hook had punched her wearing a power fist. 

He'd been the first friendly face she'd seen since leaving the vault.. Codsworth had been with her the whole time, but he was family, it was his duty to watch her back. When she'd found the mechanical man in his battered fedora and trench coat she'd almost laughed, but his eyes.. there had been something in them right from the start that made her feel.. safe. He'd listened to her story with genuine sympathy, genuinely caring for her plight, and when he'd offered to accompany her she'd thought it was good of him but just a part of the job.. even an exchange of favours to settle the score.

It was when she'd told him she had to head into the glowing sea that she realised she'd fallen for him. When instead of asking her to pay her fee upfront, before she got herself killed, he'd simply pulled his hat down lower, shrugged back into his coat and started reeling off all the places he knew of where she could buy all the rad-x and radaway she'd need. When he'd taken her back to his agency not to close her case, but to stock up on all the ammo and medical supplies he stored there.. and say goodbye to his secretary. When he'd sounded oddly resigned beneath the show of affectionate snark he seemed to communicate in whenever he spoke to the girl, as though he knew he wouldn't be coming home.

He'd hardly left her side since then, and she'd never confessed her feelings, always finding an excuse. It was too soon, she hadn't mourned Nate for long enough yet, she was fairly sure that he wasn't even interested in her, she didn't want to ruin their friendship.. so many flimsy reasons, and now.. what if...

Had she forced him to take a break from blazing a trail across the land, only for him to get himself killed now.. without her there to watch his back? She felt herself breaking all over again from the inside out just thinking about it.

"Des.." she began weakly, clutching the woman's vest coat as though her life depended on it, her voice a mere croak. "Des, please tell me it isn't Nicky. Please tell me he's not the one."

A hitched breath inwards on both sides, the lower, more masculine voice slightly delayed, spoke volumes. They'd both seen the dismay in Desdemona's features. 

Her howl of pain was only just stopped by two firm hands on her shoulders, and a woman who couldn't get her words out fast enough.

"Now listen to me before you lose hope Sophie, our intelligence suggests that he's been captured yes, but the agent who brought this to my attention verified that he was still alive and kicking as recently as two days ago. The report mentioned a raider gang, and you know as well as I do that the last thing they need is possible danger from the inside. They know it's risky to move anyone alive, they know that accidents happen when you do.. the only reason they keep anyone alive is if they think they can profit from them somehow."

Sophie put two and two together, and her fear turned to loathing as she spat out her conclusion venomously. "Slaving.. they think they can sell him as a slave? Bastards! Tell me where they are and I'll rip out each and every one of their fucking throats for this. They're already dead, they just don't know it yet."

Desdemona sighed, pinching the bridge of her nose. Hancock touched Sophie's arm gently and nodded towards the railroad agent, his somber expression soothing her fury just enough to pay attention. 

"But that's not all there is to this, is it Des?"

"No.. I did my own digging around before you arrived here. Had a look at all our intel on the resident raider gangs for the area Valentine was last spotted in, narrowed it down to one with Pam's help. I'm sorry Sophie, but it's the L&L gang that has him."

There was a pregnant silence after this statement, one that Sophie was sure was meant to be significant, but the name was strange to her.

"Raiders are raiders, who cares what they call themselves? They all go down just the same when you put a bullet between the eyes."

Des got to her feet with a heavy sigh and started pacing back and forth between the mattresses strewn everywhere, her twitchy fingers pulling another cigarette from a half empty carton to replace the one she'd lost. It was only when she'd taken several long pulls that she came to a stop, kneeling in front of Sophie as you would a small child, making herself as non threatening as possible.

"You don't understand because you've never run across these people before, if you had you would have known why this isn't going to be a simple rescue mission. The L&L gang have a reputation, but it's a reputation known only to the highest agents in our order because.. well because all the synths we've ever rescued from them have all wanted to forget. We couldn't even risk having an agent so much as mention these people, in case a synth overheard and remembered everything. It's hard to think about what they did to those poor.."

Sophie's face felt bloodless, she knew she must look like a ghost. What the hell could be so bad that it was kept secret even within the organisation, where lynch mobs and synth murder was practically the main order of conversation?

The answer came far too quickly, she wasn't prepared.

"They're a rape gang basically. They take a particular kind of sadistic pleasure from finding escaped synths. It's their specialty. I'm sorry, but these are the people that have him, and he's been with them for days now. You should prepare for the likely possibility that even if you find him alive, he won't be the same. Nobody who's ever been rescued from these people have come out the other side.. normal. I'm sorry."

She couldn't stand it, the air was too heavy in here, she had to get out. Standing on shaky legs she forced herself to keep her gun holstered. It would be too easy to take out her grief on the nearest available target.. she could understand now for the first time why some of the people she'd encountered had become so callous.

Gritting her teeth, her words came out as a low growl.

"If the next thing out of your mouth is another apology I swear I'll start shooting. I want to know where, I want to know who, and I want as much ammo as you can spare."


End file.
